Total Mind Connection’s Weblog

At least with me, one of the biggest symptoms of continual stress is becoming easily angered. If I have been stressed out for days in a row it’s real easy for me to snap at my daughter. It’s even easier for me to yell at the guy in the next lane that doesn’t know how to drive. I mean I don’t know about you but when I’m stressed out I can get angry at the drop of a pin.

The problem is that anger affects our physical well being. Symptoms include feeling light headed, having chest pains or an upset stomach. You may experience heart palpitations or have difficulty breathing. If you are in an “angry mode” long enough it can give you high blood pressure and other health problems.

Just like with stress, you need to find ways to overcome your anger effectively. Here are 5 simple steps that can help you control your anger.

1. Figure out the source of your anger. You need to know where this strong emotion is coming from and what’s causing it. Does the way your significant other points out your faults get to you? Does your boss’s constant “critique” of your work get you hot under the collar? If it does you need to figure out how to resolve it. When anger is unresolved it simmers and then escalates. You’ll find bitterness winding its way into your daily interactions with others. Determine to figure out the source and diffuse you anger. It will also help to relieve some of the stress in your system.

2. Get on an exercise Program. Find an exercise program you like. If you’re really angry you might try martial arts or boxing to vent some of that pent up anger. You could try jogging or working out at the gym. Maybe swimming a few dozen laps or trail biking. Tai Chi and Yoga work for me.Just find something you like and use nature’s way to get rid of some stress.

Warning: Always check with a doctor before starting any exercise program but especially one that you’re putting all your anger into. You could find that your blood pressure might rise abnormally.

3. Find someone to tell your troubles to. In 1965 Simon & Garfunkel recorded the song “I am a Rock” that contained the lyrics, “I am a rock, I am an island.” I believed that for a long time and seldom shared my true feelings with anyone. What happened is that I became a little unbalanced which manifested itself in some poor behavior when I was in the Navy. After I got out of the Navy I went to college where I learned to share my feelings with a woman I was dating. Those discussions helped me more than anything I was learning in school at the time. I found that we all need someone to talk to. If you’re not already doing this, find a friend or make an appointment with a therapist. It will change your life.

4. Learn to forgive. Guess what? We all make mistakes. You aren’t perfect and neither is anyone else. Just like you didn’t mean it neither did your spouse or your friend. There are times when we all overstep our boundaries and hurt somebody’s feelings or make somebody mad. If you make the mistake – remember its all feedback. If it’s somebody else – get over it, forgive them and move on with your life.

Now I’m not saying this is easy. Most people find that forgiving takes a lot of effort. At least I know that this is true for me. You may find it difficult to forget the hurt and suffering you went through but it can be done. The biggest key is this, as long as you hold on to whatever is angering you the other person maintains control over you. Forgiving releases you from the power other people have over you.

One technique that has worked for me is the angry letter technique. What you do is write a letter to the person who has caused you all this pain and suffering. Write down, in detail, everything he or she did and how it affected you. Really put your pain and anguish into the letter. Feel it deep inside. In the end, write “I forgive you for all the pain you caused me. I wish you well.” Then burn the letter and experience the wonderful release of negative emotions.

5. Seek guidance from a Higher Source. If you believe, as I do, that there is a higher source of power, ask for help. Share the hurt you have inside, as you would with a friend. Ask for guidance and believe that you will receive it. You’ll find that ideas will come to you on how to resolve your pain. Take heart and remember that, “This, too, shall pass.”

So let’s review the 5 steps

1. Figure out the source of your anger.
2. Get on an exercise Program.
3. Find someone to tell your troubles to.
4. Learn to forgive.
5. Seek guidance from a Higher Source.

There you have it, five simple steps to control your anger. Learn to control your anger and live a healthier happier life! If you’re having problems getting your stress or anger under control I have a complimentary e-course that can help.